Unleashing Leadership: Unlocking Greatness and Embracing Change

Team Interview - Hard Conversations

December 20, 2023 Travis Maus Season 3 Episode 88
Unleashing Leadership: Unlocking Greatness and Embracing Change
Team Interview - Hard Conversations
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Now, do we come into the world with certain traits, or are they cultivated over time? The age-old nature versus nurture debate comes under our scrutiny as we exchange personal experiences and perspectives. Emmy and Mae delve into this complex issue, shedding light on the challenges it often presents. If you've ever found yourself intrigued by this timeless debate or see the value in tough talks, this episode is a must-listen. Brace yourself for thought-provoking insights into these compelling topics!

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Speaker 1:

This is Unleashing Leadership and I'm your host, travis Moss, and you are listening to a special team interview with some amazing women, emmy and May. We are going to be diving into their actual real life experience with some of the lessons learned from Surrounded by Idiots, how they've applied them, what they've learned. There are 13 episodes in all. I know 13 is a lot, right? 13 entire days of listening to takeaways on Surrounded by Idiots, but there were 13 unique and complete thoughts about what you can do to use this information in your life to better your client experience, to better your employee experience, to better your business experience, to better your own experience. We didn't want to waste any of them. So there's 13 straight from the heart, life changing takeaways with lots of laughs and even some tears.

Speaker 1:

Emmy and May are some of my team members at Seed Planning Group and you can get a face with the name and more information about them from seedpgcom. That's S-E-E-D-P-Gcom, and I want to encourage you to go there and look them up, because if they say something special or something that touches your life or leaves an impression to you, or you have a question about some of the things that they've mentioned because again they're living this they deserve to know how special they are. Let them know so, without further ado, please enjoy.

Speaker 2:

Having the conversation out of love. I think that when you have hard conversations, the reason you have a hard conversation is to help somebody grow. It could be to help yourself grow because you need to talk through something. It could be to help the other person grow because they need to hear something. And you talked about intentionality before and having respect and faith and the object, that whole thing that we talked about. And I always like to say I can be frustrated with you and I can love you at the same time. The two things are not. They are separate things going on there. If we need to have a hard conversation again, it may even be for me.

Speaker 2:

Sometimes people don't understand this. I'm having a conversation with you because I'm trying to get things straight in my head, but if we trust each other, if we believe in the intentions, the end intentions of each other, then those hard conversations are not being done because we're taking shots at each other. They're being done out of love and respect for each other, to help each other grow. And I think that people miss that. I think people are like I don't want to wreck the boat or I don't want to upset them or whatever. If you love somebody. If you truly love somebody and really want to see them progress in life, sometimes you have to hurt their feelings, or sometimes you have to put yourself out there. You have to risk the fact that you might hurt their feelings. I know that you're going to take this hard, but I need to talk to you about this because I need you to not take it this way or listen. That's something I'm working on and it doesn't forgive my behavior, but you need to understand where I'm coming from, and you also need to take things less personally. I mean, there's so many examples. Those are bad examples.

Speaker 2:

The other thing is back to May's point earlier. Own in who she is and everything. I went to a church thing with our friend Steve, our other big yellow in the room All right, talk to me, and he's like come to my church, come to my church. I had a speaker and everything, and the one thing that I took back from the speaker is this idea of receiving. Everybody wants to give Right. I want to give you advice, I want to give you help, I want to give you my wisdom, I want to give you money, I want to give you whatever right Everybody wants to give.

Speaker 2:

We all need help, though, too. We all need guidance and wisdom, and the question is is are you willing to accept it? So, are you willing to accept that May is coming to you because she's not looking for your attention? She's concerned for you as a person, whether it's a colleague, a friend, a family member, whatever and she's bringing to you something that she thinks can help you have more meaningful communication with somebody, get more out of your life or out of your work, and can you receive that with grace and dignity. Or is it like she's just doing that because she's always in my shit, she's always poking around, right?

Speaker 2:

First of all, if you have people in your life that are literally torturing you because they're always doing the stuff that they shouldn't be doing, get them out of your life, right, unless they're your kids, in which case just ground them for a long time, right? But seriously, like, put the people around you who are there, like you said, people that you can trust. They are there to have the hard conversation. They're the ones who can. There's very few people, you know speaking of reds, but really anybody you know, because the way that we all kind of take things, there's very few people in life that can just walk up to you and say, I mean, this is what's going on and I'm concerned, right, and you can take that and say I know that they're telling me that because they care, not because they're trying to take a shot, not because they're threatening me, but just simply because they care about what's going on and they wanna see me improve. And that's what I like about this whole perspective too is if you get a whole group of people who are feeling the same way.

Speaker 2:

I think that we're starting to see that, you know, with this framework, all of a sudden, like it's not just you and May, it's you and May and me and Dave and you know what I mean. And all of a sudden, because Dave said in our last team interview for the Ideal Team Players, talking about how I'll call him up and say, did I do that right? And he's like, how rare is that? And it's like everybody ought to do that. You know I.

Speaker 2:

You know I did a presentation this morning. I was concerned because there was two people that I was concerned about, how they might receive it, and I wanted to make sure that I, if I said something wrong or delivered it in a way that came off not as it was intended, that I addressed that immediately, you know. And so it's kind of like, you know, getting that ego and putting it away a little bit. And then the last thing, and then we got turned over to May because I talked too much. The last thing is that people don't wanna be the negative part of their color unless they're narcissist. Right, if they're narcissist, they're like yeah, that's awesome, you know, I'm a red and I'll tear you down. Yeah, right, it's like, okay, you're a psychopath, good for you.

Speaker 2:

Like I don't want you in my life, right, but people a lot of times don't want the negative connotation with the color, which is why they try to be another color. You can't be a different color Once you are who you are. That's who you are. What you can do, though, is you can learn, like. We talked about the skills. How do I slow myself down, right? How do I let other people in you know? How do I become more aware of who else is in the room with me? That type of thing, so you can learn those skills, so you're not changing your color.

Speaker 2:

A lot of people are like I'm trying to be more red. No, stop, be yourself, but stop doing the. Stop letting the bad part of your little monster get away with stuff. You know it's like people. I'm gonna pick on the parents today.

Speaker 2:

You know you go to the store and the kids are running around like little monsters. It's like your kids don't have to run around like little monsters. You can tell them no, and they're like, but they'll cry and it's like. Put them in the car. Then that's what our parents would have done. Right, like it's okay to say no, like, no monster. You're not allowed to do this anymore, and it's repetitive, right, like you both know this, you're doing something that's driving everybody else to bash it crazy. It's not like you're just gonna fix it overnight. Right, it's like you know, I'm just gonna work on it and it takes patience by the other people. You know, if I'm doing something that's coming off to Reddit and I'm working on it and you can trust I'm working on it and you can help me work on it I'm probably gonna get there faster.

Speaker 2:

All right, so I'm done. Meg, Go ahead, give us what you got. Do you remember the question? I don't remember the question.

Speaker 1:

Did you ask one, did you? I was gonna say I don't remember you asking a question, because I mean I can give you something.

Speaker 2:

I just don't know what you're looking for. I think you already did we were talking about are you born this way or did you learn? And then I asked Amy, and then she gave us what she? Gave us. Then I came back and asked the same question again. I think and I forgot what the question was? Yeah, me too. This is why we need a blue or a green on this call.

The Power of Hard Conversations
Question Confusion

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