Can you imagine how your life might change if you could manage your emotions effectively? In this powerful discussion, we unearth the power of self-improvement and self-awareness, highlighting the importance of having a strong support system and being open to feedback. Emmy and Mae reveal their personal experiences dealing with the "red monster" and how they tackle the challenges of their dominant color. This is not just a conversation, but a transformative journey meant to inspire and empower you to build stronger relationships and become the leader you were meant to be.
Can you imagine how your life might change if you could manage your emotions effectively? In this powerful discussion, we unearth the power of self-improvement and self-awareness, highlighting the importance of having a strong support system and being open to feedback. Emmy and Mae reveal their personal experiences dealing with the "red monster" and how they tackle the challenges of their dominant color. This is not just a conversation, but a transformative journey meant to inspire and empower you to build stronger relationships and become the leader you were meant to be.
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Speaker 1:
This is Unleashing Leadership and I'm your host, travis Moss, and you are listening to a special team interview with some amazing women, emmy and May. We are going to be diving into their actual real life experience with some of the lessons learned from Surrounded by Idiots, how they've applied them, what they've learned. There are 13 episodes in all. I know 13 is a lot, right? 13 entire days of listening to takeaways on Surrounded by Idiots, but there were 13 unique and complete thoughts about what you can do to use this information in your life to better your client experience, to better your employee experience, to better your business experience, to better your own experience. We didn't want to waste any of them. So there's 13 straight from the heart, life changing takeaways with lots of laughs and even some tears.
Speaker 1:
Emmy and May are some of my team members at Seed Planning Group and you can get a face with the name and more information about them from seedpgcom. That's S-E-E-D-P-Gcom, and I want to encourage you to go there and look them up, because if they say something special or something that touches your life or leaves an impression to you, or you have a question about some of the things that they've mentioned because again they're living this they deserve to know how special they are. Let them know so, without further ado, please enjoy.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I think fulfillment comes from helping others, right? I don't. You can buy all the stuff that you want. You can go on Instagram and make your life look as perfect as you want. People are never fulfilled until. I mean the most. The people that you meet in life that's seen the happiest are the ones that normally are helping the most. It's just an interesting phenomena, I think.
Speaker 2:
When you can't control the monster, when the little monster becomes a big monster, that bankrupts the trust bank. Right, because nobody can trust you. It's like you can't control yourself, right? Like, if you're a rat, you always blow up at people. Or if you're a blue, you never get anything done. We can't trust on you to get anything done. Or if you're a green, maybe you procrastinate a lot or you hold a grudge, or if you're a yellow, it's all about you, those types of things. And so the bank it's bankrupt, right? There's no deposits in there for anybody to. Nobody's coming to you saying I want to be in the room with you anymore, and I think that it's extremely isolating, right, and most people are.
Speaker 2:
I mean, think about it from the time you go to college and then all the leadership or not all the leadership stuff. But all the quotes and stuff you see on social media and stuff, everything's about you, it's all about me. It's all about me, it's about what I do, it's about what I do, it's about what I do. And so you have this attitude that the power is within me and I'm going, you know, and it's like, yes, it is about what you do, but it's about what you do in respect to others, because otherwise you're going to be isolated and alone and you're going to become bitter and angry or paranoid. You know what I mean? Like everybody's out to get me all the time, because paranoia doesn't belong to anyone color, it belongs to all colors. And so people who have this anxiety and they feel like everybody's always out to get them, the question there is okay, but what are you doing for others then? Because where is this feeling coming from? You know what I mean. Or are we being a hypocrite or something like that type of thing? So I just think it's isolating.
Speaker 2:
If you can't learn how to control the monster, you will end up alone, and it doesn't matter what color you are. I speak for reds, right? Reds will drive everybody in their lives away from them Because there's just too much intensity and not because they have bad intentions. You could be a red with incredible intentions, but if you can't control the intensity, nobody's going to be able to walk that path with you. That's good, you know. You've got to leave room for other people to be a part of your story, and that means that sometimes the light's got to shine on them more than it shines on you. Do you think that this is something that you were talking about when you were young and being worried about everybody else? Do you think that you're let's say you're dominant color? Right, because most people are more than one color, so let's say you're dominant color. Do you think you're born with that or do you think that that's more? You're influenced that when you're young and it kind of shapes your perspective on the world.
Speaker 4:
Well, I think and this even comes from the book, I think that children learn and are developed one way in life and that's by imitation. So I think that a lot of it has come from, I mean, I watched that, you know, out of my parents, out of my grandma, out of you know, having two brothers, and that was just how it was. I mean, it was always about the people. And so I think that while we are born, the way that we are born, I think that there is great influence in what we become.
Speaker 2:
Gotcha, and I think there is a point where you become what you are, though, and I think at that point. It's more about the skills you know it's learning about, you know how do I let? Other people shine in the room around me and you know that type of thing. I mean where's yours come from.
Speaker 3:
Well, you know, this is like a therapy session.
Speaker 2:
I'll send you a bill. I love it. I did check if you can get insurance reimbursement for it.
Speaker 3:
I'm about to get real personal.
Speaker 4:
I should have had my emotional support.
Speaker 2:
I have mine in the office right now, absolutely.
Speaker 3:
We have half right here. So you know, I kind of agree with some of the things May said. I also think life situations or things that happen to or around or that you have to go through trials and tribulations can really help shape that too. You know, I think back to my youth and, like you know, my parents tell me stories of when I was a little kid and things that I did or said.
Speaker 3:
But during my I don't know younger school years I was not red, I was very timid, shy, you know, stay in the background. It wasn't until middle school and, like I know, the exact instance that kind of my personality took a shift to a very hard, deep red type of personality and I was that negative perception of red and it took me a long time to tailor that, without even knowing what I was doing, and to grow and learn how I'm perceived and how I want to be perceived. And you know I had a lot of relationships ruined and professionally I struggled in a lot of ways because of the way that I acted and that red monster being a big red monster, of get out of my way type of attitude.
Speaker 2:
So what are ways that I don't even know? If we can, we can consciously explain it, but are there certain skills or methods or techniques that you've learned to you know? Keep the red monster in check.
Speaker 3:
There are, and I think a big part of it is having a support system, having relationships and people that are not afraid to have the hard conversations with you, to invest in you and help you really grow and improve and become more self-aware, if that's not a skill that maybe you have. You know, tone was always a huge thing for me and I would say well, I said please, well, I said thank you, but my tone did not convey that, and so I had to. Really I had to care what other perception was of me, I had to care how I affected those around me, and that was something that I think took me a long time to understand, and I had to be willing to ask the hard questions. I think that's a huge part of self-development and growth, and I think this book is really good at making you look in the mirror and say, okay, do I want to be this negative perception of this color or do I want to be the positive perception of this color? And even today I will ask how did that conversation go for you? Or hey, can you tell me how I just came across, please, you know, with reading these two books together.
Speaker 3:
There's actually a section in the Crucial Conversations book. That is supposed to be a self-discovery type of quiz or assessment, and I asked my team to fill it out on how they think I do, so that I can look to see how they're perceiving me. Am I doing well? Am I or the intentions that I want you know them to, to know I have coming across effectively? And I think you always, always have to be willing to ask those questions, get that feedback and then actually do something with it and put in that work to continue to grow, to continue to improve, to continue to foster the relationships.
Speaker 3:
And you know, honestly, may is one of the biggest people in my life because, although we have this professional relationship, we have a very strong personal relationship as well, and me and her will sit down constantly and have these really hard conversations of you know, how did I come across, how did I make you feel, what can I do differently next time? And the relationship we have worked so hard to build. Which red and yellows? I know that. You know it says in the book that, like the red and greens, I think are the challenging combinations, but for me, yellows have always been some of the hardest to deal with, because one of my red triggers is being interrupted and, as we know, yellows talk very excessively and they don't know any yellows that do that.
Speaker 2:
I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 3:
And being able to foster that relationship with May, who is a very big yellow, versus me, who is a very big red, has taught me so much in my life, just in in my everyday life, of how, how to really make sure that I can communicate as best as possible with everyone around me and be and be open to hear the hard stuff.